Parenting;What we are never told.

Chambon -sur-Lignon,Haute -Loire, France
Agnes Marin,a 13 year old College student at an Elite Protestant French College had a great vision for a bright future.Described by her college mates as warm,sociable,kind,bold,intelligent and  hard-working,Agnes wanted to become a FilmMaker.But that was never to be;her young life and ambitions were cut short on wednesday 16th Nov 2011 by a 17 year old student,Mathieu,who was in the same college.It was only two days later after an intensive search that her lifeless body was found in a thicket.It was actually Mathieu who led the anticrime squad to the scene of crime,and confessed to having murdered Agnes.It was all clear now;he had first raped her before killing her and setting her body ablaze.


Loreto Convent Msongari ,Lavington,Nairobi

29th July 2011 was a fateful day in the life of this prestigious,well reputed learning institution.About 80 pupils that were travelling to what was supposed to have been a great excursion in Samburu were involved in a grisly road accident along Meru-Nanyuki road.Three young girls lost their lives while more than 30 were seriously injured.Six out of them had one or more of their limbs amputated while a great number suffered deep cuts and broken limbs.Last Saturday, a fundraiser had been organized at the school to help raise resources for treatment of  the accident victims and purchase of artificial limbs to facilitate the lives of these beautiful wonderful girls who are just so full of life.Among those in attendance was Julie Gichuru and other key media personalities and houses.


The above two cases have really got me thinking about parenthood;its joy,excitement and fulfillment that those of us who are or are aspiring to embrace this 'calling' dream about.It is common to see young mothers hold their bundles of joy closely in their arms,ready to give anything or on anything just to keep their children protected.Some even swear to not take it lightly with anyone who dares point a finger at their children.


Ophrah Winfrey once said that it was a pity there was almost a school for everything but Parenting;yet it is one of the most difficult and perhaps important task that one can undertake.She will be remembered for having  featured  shows that focused  on child racism, teen pregnancy, autism and good nutrition in the fight against childhood obesity.But still as she once mentioned,i wish that parents and prospective parents could be taught on how to expect such cases as the above mentioned;to make them prepared when the worst happens.


When  I saw the parents of Loreto Msongari accident victims with their amputated children,I could not help but marvel at how strong they were;never at any time did they hold a demo to protest the death and fate of their children;they would have chosen to pass the blame to the driver,or to the school,or to the government.But they never did any of these;their children are still in the same school and perhaps the same driver is still working at the school.They,just as Agnes Marin's parents, who are important people in the society,had chosen these religious institutions  for their children driven by a strong desire-the desire to have them attain the best values and education that would be the cornerstones of laying their foundations.


That also made me understand why the children who were victims of the accident are so positive about life;the positive attitude and environment they have been brought up in;It makes all the difference.When a child is sorrounded by love,they know nothing is impossible;these are children whose parents believe in them,and encourage them to face things in a positive way.These are children who are tucked in bed by their both parents and read a story or bible verse every night,they must have learnt from the best practices of their parents,their role models.


This is a challenge to the many prospective and aspiring parents ;it is not easy,it has never been easy and it was not going to be easy.No one will ever tell you this.But the next time you are thinking of having a trophy baby to validate your status,age or societal expectations,make sure you have read the fine print.Even when we feel that we have what it takes to take care of children we may not be right.Mathieu,the guy who killed Agnes has a Lecturer and an Accountant for parents,yet he has been a suspect of rape and now murder,which will see him most probably go into prison for all his life.His parents knew  about his misconduct,but they did not notify the school.



Parenting is not for the faint-hearted;it is more of a calling,an obligation and not a validating task.